I was the cheater. Cheating for me was an outlet. It was a freeing moment in a 17 year long manipulative and controlling relationship. I was so caught up I did not consider anything else, not myself or my children.
I got caught ironically with a mobile game that had messaging within it. It took almost two months to pull the truth out of me. My truth was not that I was with one particular person. It was different people of different walks of life.
I consciously chose to cheat, not to leave. There were at least two occasions that I tried to quit and somehow was always convinced that it was me.
Broken relationships are often not one-sided. One or both are not having their love languages met. The book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman maps out the five love languages’ needs. If you have not read it and don’t know what makes you feel safe, complete, I would suggest reading the book. You might have one or two that are your primary live language.
Your spouse can do many things and never meet your needs. The key to being happy is to know what your love language is and share that with your partner.
I married young and did not take the time to find my path and what makes me happy. I thought he makes me happy. Happiness is within and doesn’t come from another individual. Not knowing you will leave you vulnerable and a prime candidate to be manipulated and controlled.
I think back, and the question was, what do you want to do leave or stay. He forgave and did not forget. He knew I wasn’t going to leave, and it was the truth. It took the extreme for me to Thank God and find my path to self-healing.