What is a trauma bond?
A trauma bond is where the abused stays with the abuser in an unhealthy relationship. It occurs when the abuser has feelings of affection towards the abuser.Â
The bond can take weeks, months, or even years to develop. The abused feels dependent on the abuser and can not find a way to get out of the relationship.
Someone’s primary means of support could be the abuser. A trauma bond develops.
A person can develop a trauma bond because they rely on the abuser for emotional support.
How to overcome a trauma bond?
The National Domestic Violence Hotline suggests that people:
The truth, not the promise: Hoping that the abuser might change someday.
Evidence: remind yourself of the patterns of abuse
Positive self-talk: Abuse can lower a person’s self-esteem and make them feel that they cannot be without the abusive person. Change the negative self-talk to positive. Reflect on the benefits you got from the relationship, what makes you unique and valuable in this world.
Practice self-care: reduce the desire to turn to an abusive person for comfort. Prayer, journaling, meditation, exercise, hobbies.