What is the one thing that makes you question your healing and growth?

Life and not managing my priorities well has kept me away from blogging and writing on a consistent basis.

This quarter’s goal will be to consistently write.

I’ve complete my empowerment and mindset course with the Freedom Mentor. Just last week I started to feel like I haven’t made any progress. Not because I haven’t been reaching my weekly goals but because the biggest and most important goal is to no longer have superficial relationships with my children I haven’t achieved.

Last week my eyes finally opened to how my children make feel like I’m back in the manipulative and controlling relationship. When I realized this is when I started to question my healing and progress.

What do I choose to do fight or revert to where I was? I’m not choosing to move backward. Last week I think is one of the hardest moments for me to swallow. Till now physically fighting was not something I did for years. The toll it took on my body left me in tears. My heart broke knowing that this is something I’m failing on.

I don’t give up. I don’t allow challenges to chase me away. I sit on it for a while and then with the help of my partner, family and friends I start to figure put what I need to do.

What is the one thing that makes you question your healing and growth?

If I could change one things in the world…

If I could change one thing in the world, what would it be? Why is this important to me? How will this help the world? What impact would it have on me?

If I could change one thing in the world, I would give access to free health care. Healthcare includes medical, dentist, mental health for preventative services, and emergency services. 

This is important to me because the need for health care with children is essential and is one reason it would hold me back from just quitting to focus on that which would benefit the children and me now and in the future. If this was not a concern and all of my investments were doing well, I might say yes, I will leave the 9 to 5 job.  And focus on one or two things that will bring me financial freedom and give me the time I want to spend with my children.  If I were to leave my job, I would need to have a solid plan and have each minute of the working day accounted for working the aspects of the business that I need to. It would take more than the commitment and consistency I have given to my Book and blog writing.  It would require me to get comfortable doing the things that make me feel uncomfortable. It would mean to market myself. Which requires me to answer the question, “who am I.”  I question that would bring me to tears.  I no longer cry because I have some idea but still can’t speak but a few lines about who i am. I’m still in the discovery mood. I feel guilty that I’m 40 and don’t have, for the lack of better words, my “shit” together. 

If health care was free, I believe that the world and some of today’s challenges would be different. If everyone was afforded the same, it would place people on a more even playing field. Saving the lives of so many young people, extending the life of our seasoned community. Life as a whole would be prolonged, giving more time for the things that matter—the memories, victories, focus, strength. 

As stated before, the impact that free health care would have for me would be my ability to walk away from that which I am a slave to that is bringing no real value to the legacy that I want to leave behind.  I don’t want to pass, and my children say she was a good mom, but she didn’t accomplish much. I want to be in a place where I’m honestly able to focus on my grandchildren when the time comes. I hope that I won’t still be figuring things out. To reach that goal, I have to take risks somewhere.  Having a piece of the puzzle that I need to provide for my children taken care of would make the road to personal accomplishments easier to achieve. 

When did you have a paradigm shift?

What is a paradigm?

A paradigm is how you view something. What you value, what drives you, your standards, and your set of ideas.

Fundamental change to how I see the world.

Changing your paradigm opens up a new liveliness for personal and professional growth.

My paradigm makes me happy, does it motivate me, does it support/better/change align with my priorities (family, work, self-development, and partnership). Take action in something that I believe in. 

My paradigm shift came from being in a relationship that day by day. I was being broken down so that I didn’t believe in myself so that I felt I had no other option so that I thought what I have to say doesn’t matter so that I didn’t know who I was, what I liked, what I wanted.  Through my infidelities and me getting caught, I was able to free myself, start to review things from a different perspective. Learn/define and understand who I am and where I want to go. 

My paradigm shift is reinforced by me stepping out of my box. Working on self-discovery and my self care process. Having real people in my life that help me to see where I have fallen short and ask the tough questions, encourage what I’m doing well, to be a listening ear. 

Three Biggest Fears that Hold Me Back

What are my 3 biggest fears that hold myself back? What are the opposite to these? What is an affirmation for each that affirms the opposite?

3 Biggest Fears

  1. I’m not enough
  2. Crashing and burning
  3. Success (comfortable where you are)

Opposite

  1. I am enough, I am not lacking anything, I am where I am supposed to be, I belong
  2. Succeeding one step at a time, don’t try and boil the ocean set small goals and complete the task
  3. Positive progress, breaking barriers, generational curses

Affirmations

  1. I am enough and have everything I need to get to where I want to be. 
  2. Success requires me to set mini goals and accomplish them. I believe in myself and the ability to succeed.
  3. I embrace change as a constant and a powerful ally in my life. Today I let go of what is and embrace  change.