I had an interesting conversation this weekend with my partner. He asked if I was writing, my answer was my writing was on hold. What he said next surprised me. Then you aren’t happy because you aren’t writing. You can’t get comfortable. You always have to push yourself. I listened intently and took in his words.
I decided I would do something for myself (painted my nails). As I was painting my nails, I thought about the conversations. I asked myself why I am not writing, and when did it become more complicated to write? Who or what am I allowing to take control over what I control? Do I still have guilt and shame?
As I pondered these questions, I came back to a moment last year around the Holiday season when I was insensitive towards my inlaw’s feelings around the death of their son/brother/uncle, and I was told about my insensitivity. I was wrong and was not empathetic towards their mourning process.
Before this, as I walked my journey, I had the mindset that no one would control my actions. People would know my happiness. It took that one moment to see that I took a step backward. Once you are in a different space, you can receive feedback, process feedback, think inward, and take action.
Being aware is half the battle to making changes.
