Month: October 2021

I was in a controlling and manipulative relationship for 16 years. I cheated in my marriage with multiple men searching for what was missing. I got caught and ultimately when I finally said I was done a domestic situation took place in front of my children ending in him taking his life.

I’ve dealt with guilt over the choices I made. I did not realize what type of relationship I was in. Until very recently I would always have chatter in my mind of the many things that were said and done to me.

One day last week I said to the inner voices. I need to let you go so that I can be happy and be the mother I need to be. I told myself it is ok to let go. The inner chatter has been silenced. When you become more aware you can change what you think.

Even when the manipulator is out of your life there is still a hold on you. Some go back, others press on, still, others choose to heal.

Be deliberate about what you think. Your intentions positive or negative determine your path.

Think about the different areas of your life. Pick four goals for this quarter.  Then list at least 4 actions to complete each one.  Give your reason for completing the goal and how you will feel once completing.

Family Relationships
Social Life
Spiritual
Career/Business
Personal Health
Emotional

The process doesn’t end there. Each week break down the 4 actions into attainable tasks for the week.

Contact me if you would like an example or some help.

Life and not managing my priorities well has kept me away from blogging and writing on a consistent basis.

This quarter’s goal will be to consistently write.

I’ve complete my empowerment and mindset course with the Freedom Mentor. Just last week I started to feel like I haven’t made any progress. Not because I haven’t been reaching my weekly goals but because the biggest and most important goal is to no longer have superficial relationships with my children I haven’t achieved.

Last week my eyes finally opened to how my children make feel like I’m back in the manipulative and controlling relationship. When I realized this is when I started to question my healing and progress.

What do I choose to do fight or revert to where I was? I’m not choosing to move backward. Last week I think is one of the hardest moments for me to swallow. Till now physically fighting was not something I did for years. The toll it took on my body left me in tears. My heart broke knowing that this is something I’m failing on.

I don’t give up. I don’t allow challenges to chase me away. I sit on it for a while and then with the help of my partner, family and friends I start to figure put what I need to do.

What is the one thing that makes you question your healing and growth?